Scammed

granny

Granny’s looking for someone special to meet

romance

Cruising the internet for a guy who’s sweet

funeral

Her husband died and now she feels like a loner

gold-jewels

Over the net she met a Ukrainian mine owner

handsome

The picture of the man is tall dark and handsome

ransom

Not realizing her heart will be held for ransom

Granny really begins to care

LoveWords

He knows all the right words to share

IMs

He likes to instant message by choice

Granny never hears his voice

It’s a little odd he won’t use a phone

cash

Then he instant messages Granny for a loan

trouble

He’s in big trouble… a situation far away

Granny loves him so she says “okay”

This situation goes on and on

Skycity . Opening of Nations Clubrooms Fireworks 9th sep.2011

Until all of Granny’s savings are gone

All those with grannies please beware

scammer

Scammers are everywhere

red-heart

Stay close to your granny

Cheers

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The Big Stink

Aside

grocerystore

Shopping this morning my face is numb

It’s the second time I’ve been crop dusted by an invisible bum

holdingnose

A fly-by of flatulence that smells like day old bologna

redbaronwithgun

Searching the quiet store

grocery-store-aisles

I caught a glimpse of old man Maloney

Laughing and chuckling as he disappeared down an aisle

laughingman

He got me again

That smell sure is vile

The odor stuck to the clothes I was wearin’

Everyone be on the lookout for the Red Baron

redbaron

A Chef’s Plea to Low Carb Dieters

piggy
Stop living in the closet.
What’s wrong with you?
You dream of foreplay with chips and salsa before you make love to a beef burrito.

bigburritolove
But you deny yourself.
You even deny yourself birthday cake at your own child’s birthday party.

birthday
Stop living on the fringe where the burger meets the bun or the salad meets the crouton.
Come back my falafel eating maniacs.

falafel
What happened to binge drinking while shoving countless cupcakes in your face as you laughed all night?

cupcakes
Where did the laughter go?

laughter
Now it looks as if a nervous breakdown is imminent.

hamsterwheel
I’m calling all the little piggies back to the pen.

Eat Cake!

cake
Live life to the fullest.

bigbelly

Chef Mutton Chop’s Plea is brought to you by Potentially Disruptive.

psa